| Bonding Night. |
[22 Oct 2006|09:50pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 confused |
] |
8th Grade: Train Year.
9th Grade: Dreams & Nightmares.
10th Grade: Signs of the Zodiac.
11th Grade: Clockworks.
12th Grade: Spies.
I don't have anything to say.
How can you sum up five years in a small speech?
How does one possibly convey all the ups and the downs of five seasons?
The hard work, the tears, the joys, the fights, the friends, the love?
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| I hope he is a gentlemen. |
[03 Aug 2006|10:38am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bitter. |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Fergie >> London Bridge (Oh Shit!) |
] |
Came home.
Did dishes.
Went upstairs and hung up the clothes on my floor.
As I was taking off my jewelry ready to crash, I noticed the bear on my dresser.
This is another one of those you see it everyday and your eyes soon just pass over it.
The bear, 7th grade, Flowers for the first time.
The bear Spencer gave me on Valentines day. Or was it my birthday?
Doesn't really matter.
I saw it. And I wasn't sure why I still had it.
I thought maybe I had lost it?
I don't know.
As I looked at it... I missed Spencer.
I miss our friendship that we had.
We always used to be close, this year broke us.
I'm bitter about it.
|
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| Give your immortality to me. |
[03 Aug 2006|10:35am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 content |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Hush Sound >> Wine Red |
] |
"Don't forget to make time for me."
"I had the dream again. Three times now."
"I understand why you have to [hang out with her], it makes perfect sense, but I just don't like it."
"I love you."
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|
|
[30 Jul 2006|12:25am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
confused |
] |
She is such an amazing writer.
I am filled with envy.
She can dance, and write.
Which I never really had a talent for either, but I get by with pretending.
I feel sick.
And I know that I'm not.
These conflicting feelings need to stop.
I feel crazy, and I know I'm not.
I'm not jealous of her.
There is no need of me to be jealouse.
There I said it.
But it doesn't make me feel any better.
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|
| Broken Hearted: De-tec-tive |
[25 Jul 2006|01:53pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Bright Eyes >> Bowl Of Oranges |
] |
Summer seems so boring now.
What happened?
Where is the fire?
|
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| I slept in a sweatshirt that didn't belong to me. |
[24 Jul 2006|11:20pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 loved |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Christina Aguilera >> Ain't No Other Man |
] |
"I'll call you about Wednesday."
"Don't blow off anything." [meaning my senior party]
"I won't. Even if I did... I have all Fall to see those fools. We don't have that time."
|
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| I have that bad feeling in my stomach. |
[23 Jul 2006|12:56pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 terrible. |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
the tv. Ghost In The Shell?? |
] |
I am sorry that I'm stupid.
I say things that I don't mean when I'm flustered.
I feel bad that I even thought that.
I'm sorry, sorry, sorry.
|
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| I should have thought of that before we kissed. |
[22 Jul 2006|04:42pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sad |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
No Doubt >> Simple Kind of Life |
] |
Well here's to being chickenshit.
"What am I going to do without you?"
He whispered, "I don't know."
And I switched topics.
We layed in bed all day.
It was nice.
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| Maybe I'm not but you're all I got left to believe in. |
[21 Jul 2006|07:08am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 nostalgic & nervous. |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Vanessa Carlton >> White Houses |
] |
We are going to talk about it today.
I decided that while I was looking at my ceiling try to sleep.
You look at certain things so many times that you really forget what they look like.
My ceiling has glitter on it. Weird, huh?
I am feeling very nostalgic.
I guess I'm going to finish cleaning my room.
"In every frame upon our wall
Lies a face that's seen it all
Through ups and downs and then more downs
We helped each other off of the ground
No one knows what we've been through
Making it ain't making it without you."
- Train >> I'm About To Come Alive
Impending doom???
|
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| There's just one thing I need to say, before I close my eyes and walk away. |
[09 Jul 2006|01:42am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sad |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Way Out West >> Don't Forget Me |
] |
She makes me feel like I am nothing special to him. Like I am just another girl. The silly thing is... I know that I'm not. But she still can make me feel that way. It's her way with words. The way she speaks about him. I'm five years old again and she's mad because I stole her favorite toy.
I hate this feeling.
I can't sleep.
The boy I'm head over heels for asked me out to breakfast.
He knows that she infuriates me.
But I probably can't go because I have to go to church with my family.
I wonder when is the right time to tell my parents I don't believe in God.
|
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| I've got pictures to prove I was there, but you don't care. |
[23 Jun 2006|09:39pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sad |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Get Up Kids >> Ten Minutes |
] |
I haven't made a mixed cd in months.
I don't know why but I feel sad today.
*shrug* Temporary me thinks.
This mixed cd is going to my boy.
His birthday is on Tuesday. *smile*
It's sad so far.
I have to fix that.
He doesn't make me sad. (anymore)
Uhmn.
Playlist so far. (very tentative)
Aladin (disney movie...) >> A Whole New World
Punchline >>The Fake, The Snake, and the Birthday Cake
The Hush Sound >> We Intertwined
Dashboard >> This Ruined Puzzle
Dashboard >> The Brilliant Dance
Death Cab for Cutie >> Champagne From a Paper Cup
Sugarcult >> Counting Stars
Sugarcult >> Pretty Girl (the way)
Zero 7 >> In The Waiting Line
Alkaline Trio >> This Could Be Love
Box Car Racer >> There Is
Cascada >> Everytime We Touch
The Lawrence Arms >> Chapter 13: The Hero Appears
SR-71 >> They All Fall Down
The Goo Goo Dolls >> Acoustic #3
The Get Up Kids >> Out Of Reach
Jimmy Eat World >> Polaris
Hot Rod Circuit >> The Pharmacist
Bright Eyes >> Bowl of Oranges
Evanescence >> My Last Breath
Paramore >> All We Know
Plain White T's >> Faster
.... Thoughts? Concerns? Questions? Comments?
Do share.
|
|
| You're not making sense with your two cents. |
[13 Jun 2006|08:24pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 crazy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Pussycat Dolls >> Beep! |
] |
I am not five years old anymore.
I wish my father would stop treating me like I am.
My little sister is a tattle-tail.
Told mom I took people to their houses.
FUCK HER.
My Mom is crazy.
First she's in a bitchy mood.
The next moment she's nice.
They are driving me insane.
|
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| I think tonight I'll take the long way... |
[10 Jun 2006|06:38am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
thoughtful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Dashboard Confessional >> Living In Your Letters |
] |
I left her house in rage.
Drove home.
When I got inside and passed by my front door, I noticed his car there.
Chasing after me.
I went to the bathroom, cleaned my face, got in my pjs.
Checked the phone.
Missed two calls and a text.
Went outside.
I shouldn't take out my pent up anger on him.
He told me I could.
But I shouldn't.
I don't even know why I was angry.
Over something silly like a movie.
|
|
| never ceases to amaze me |
[06 Jun 2006|06:23pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 happy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Darude >> Sandstorm |
] |
Yesterday was perfect.
Two exams. Both fairly easy.
Worked some.
Went to Devons.
Watched Aladin.
Both of us fell asleep.
It was perfect.
I have never been happier.
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|
[24 Apr 2006|12:01am] |
|
FUCK.
|
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| I miss them dearly |
[29 Mar 2006|07:44pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
happy |
] |
When someone admits to missing you, it's such a natural high. You feel so wonderful that somebody cares that you don't care about anything else.
|
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| it's better to face these kinds of things with a sense of calm |
[25 Mar 2006|11:09am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
happy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Panic! >> I write sins, not tragedies |
] |
Before he left he searched my face with his eyes grinning. "What are you grinning at?" I laughed. He leaned foreward and placed a sweet kiss on my mouth. Not one of his normal, rough, needed kisses. But short, and sweet. The kiss was over before it started. Then he left smiling and I smiled after him as I locked the door. It was kisses like those that make me go crazy.
|
|
| The year that wasn't... |
[16 Mar 2006|05:10pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sad |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Death Cab For Cutie >> Photobooth |
] |
I turned instinctively down the street. Parked in the driveway and noticed the foresale sign, noticed the lack of people. He always had told me that we could live together when I got sick of my parents, sisters or whatever. He always told me that he would be there. So sitting in his driveway today I noticed the lack of a Linden Winterguard invitational. Those invitationals where we would sneak off into parts of the high school to be alone. Today sitting in his driveway I noticed the lack of him. I feel empty without my other half. I don't mean that romatically. I mean that in he was/is my best friend. The one who got me when I didn't have to say a word. The one who called me after the 8th grade dances to talk about his "girlfriends" or lack there of. The boy who I spent everday talking to on the phone one summer, inbetween my marching band and his football. I remember he played for Byron even if it's small and insignificant and nobody else remembers. The boy who partly made me who I am.
|
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| I'm falling apart to songs about hips and hearts |
[03 Mar 2006|06:25am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 weird & tired. |
] |
I fell asleep to a heartbeat not my own.
Woke up to 'Cosy in the Rocket' and felt like nothing changed.
Went to bed and realized everything has.
I don't suggest seeing Pink Panther.
Greys Anatomy marathons are good though.
|
|
| there just pale reflections of her heart |
[09 Feb 2006|10:36pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 stressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
psapp >> cosy in the rocket |
] |
Even when I have to see Grey's Anatomy on a different night, everyhing happens on Grey's night. The past few weeks you imagine you've got yourself compose. You've got yourself together and finally drama is set aside. And one half hour rips you apart at the seams.
Thank god tomorrow is friday.
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